Permalink 11:04:24 am, by Mary Email , 259 words
Categories: Growing Up Ivan


I have tried to keep up with the fun things the boys do, but it's impossible to save it all. Sometimes I blog but don't have pictures, sometimes I have pictures but never have time to write it out. Sometimes they do things that I think are just precious but I don't think anyone else will understand, so I just try to treasure it in my own mind.

I came across these photos this morning and thought I'd share them here. I'll save this on his blog as well. It's nothing that incredible or even all that funny but it says something about Ivan to me and I want it preserved.

I found him napping this way the other day. He often makes a bed for his little kitty or whichever stuffed animal he chooses to sleep with. Usually he'll wrap them in a blanket or lay them as comfortably as he can on a pillow and then cover them up with a blanket of some kind. This time, he somehow found it comforting, for himself and the kitty I suppose, to let the kitty nap inside his shirt. I never know what the process is that pushes Ivan to do the things he does. There are often strange but ordered piles of toys here and there, that have some meaning or significance to him. He talks very well, but doesn't always explain himself or express his train of thought well, so sometimes I understand and sometimes his ways remain a mystery. This one seems pretty simple to me.

Permalink 09:17:32 am, by Mary Email , 69 words
Categories: Growing Up Ivan


Because of the cold weather recently there has been talk of snow. Ivan has been eager for the flakes to fall and cannot contain his excitement over the idea. Everywhere we go of late he will ask everyone he makes eye contact with, "When is it gonna snow?"

People usually look at him sort of weird before answering that they don't know.

I just love his innocence and curiosity.


Permalink 09:19:18 am, by Mary Email , 26 words
Categories: Growing Up Ivan


9-16-09 While preparing to use the nail clippers:
"I don't need any help. I can do it myself. I know how. I just teached myself."


Permalink 11:37:47 am, by Mary Email , 804 words
Categories: Growing Up Ivan


Ivan is coming out of his threes beautifully. I am still stumped on some days, as to what it will take to convince him of how important it is to stop what he's doing in order to go to the bathroom. I have been frustrated beyond words in some instances. It will seem as if he is perfectly on top of it and then we'll have a day or two where if I do not MAKE him go, he will wet his pants continuously. I cannot give an accurate list of events or tell you what has transpired on those day specifically but I am confident, none the less, that his stress level is directly related to the amount of dirty Lightning McQueen and Elmo underwear in the laundry.

I have been studying him for over year now in hopes of conquering the puzzle that is Ivan's thought process. I told Kris last week that I think he feels the need to complete things before he can move away from them. For instance...if he sees the potential for a perfect loop he can build with his toy train tracks, no matter how badly he has to go potty he cannot emotionally leave that train track. It would be like allowing the train to crash in his mind...disaster...so going to the bathroom has to wait. Yesterday during the morning church service Pastor Davis was talking about the functions of the different lobes in the brain. He quickly described them as it was not the total point of his sermon, but one of them is much like what I described in Ivan. Pastor said that some kids cannot leave their video games or the activity they are in because it is not complete and they are unable to CHANGE what they are doing. It is not so much a matter of finishing what he is doing, he simply cannot make the CHANGE in his brain activity to go to the bathroom. Understanding it all is part of the victory I suppose. I will continue to work with what I know and what I learn. Ivan has made me much smarter.

Despite the continuing potty issues, he is coming into his own in so many other ways. His desire to sit down and learn letters and numbers has become more evident and his joy in recognizing the letter "I" specifically is a new passion for him. He and Aron get along pretty well. They often do their own thing but seem to have developed a bond of late that keeps them on the same "team" during toddler type hardships.

He seems to be stepping away from his obstinate nature, or at least realizing more accurately when it is appropriate. I would never wish it to be gone completely. I love a stubbornness toward what is right and wrong. May that never leave him. I cannot promise that he will act on what I want every time, but I see that he is understanding more and more the joy in cooperation and pleasing others.

He has always been affectionate, responsive to touch and needy for a counter and positive attention to negative things like spanking. Owen will leave a discipline with a desire to leave it behind completely, learn the lesson and move on. Ivan has been the one who will carry the weight of his misfortune much longer and has come to me to sit in my lap and confess that he got a spanking from daddy hours earlier in hopes of getting the counter hug and comfort from me. I know that Kris always hugs the boys after spanking them so I think he just digests those punishments longer and needs more attention to overcome his own feelings about it. Whether it's guilt, shame, misfortune or completely unfair in his mind, he simply tells us that it makes him sad.

Lately he has been more expressive in his desire for affection whether he is happy or sad. He just wants to be loved and has learned to ask for it unashamedly. I love that. There are a few people at church that he will run to when he sees them and is eager to hug and even kiss them when he sees them.

I need to begin a new list of quotes for him and post them here soon. I related his reaction to the Amish men surrounding us at his great-grandmother's funeral on my blog. So I won't tell it again here but I will say that I love realizing what his raised eyebrows mean when he speaks up his concern, surprise or delight. The facial reaction is always first and sometimes the only indication of what he is thinking. When he verbalizes what the reaction has meant I am always delighted.


Permalink 11:58:16 pm, by Mary Email , 196 words
Categories: Growing Up Ivan

Just G'nore Him?

During nap time I often put Ivan and Aron in the same room. Ivan is used to the routine and is pretty obedient, but Aron has a little more trouble settling down some days. His first few days in a big boy bed were especially frustrating for him as the novelty of being in the same room as Ivan and the new bed were tempting him to play instead of rest. I specifically told Ivan not to talk to Aron. "Even if he talks to you," I said, "don't answer him, just be quiet."

As I turned to go he had a last minute question. "Mommy, should I just g'nore him?"

He meant ignore of course, and without batting an eye, I nodded and said, "absolutely! Just g'nore him."

He has said it again several times and I am too tickled to correct him.

His "r" and "l" sounds are still coming out as "w" and that's been the source of some confusion. When he says "pway" is he wanting to pray or play? I have had arguments with the poor kid because I thought he was wanting to pway when it was time to pway.

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