It has felt like Monday all day today and I have had a terrible time getting anything done. At one point this morning I just frowned with every bit of my face and said...so far I don't like today. Thing were happening in all the wrong places, at all the wrong times, but I am hoping that it will turn around shortly. I'm about to eat a late lunch in front of the television, while the boys are all three napping. (Dear God...let them actually nap today...you know we all need it.) Then, I'm going to lay down too because I feel like I'm on the edge of illness and if I lay down just for a little bit...I know I won't fall.

We went to Gloria's funeral yesterday and everything went really well. A lot of long ago faces came through the doors of the tiny Methodist church set back in the hills where we prayed and sang and were encouraged in what life and death and eternity mean to us. We saw most of the cousins and had a wonderful lunch together back at the house of a relative and then little by little we parted company. Many different directions with many different perspectives with which to remember the day.

Amy Button watched Ivan and Aron for us while we were occupied with Gloria's service. It was SUCH a blessing for us. Owen wanted to stay with her too, but for several reasons, not the least of which was not overtaxing Amy, I kept him with us for the day. They were all exhausted (except for Aron, who had a great nap after chasing Amy's cats all morning) when we got home so we had a simple picnic dinner on a quilt in the living room while we watched Star Wars and then we sent them off to very peaceful slumber while we watched the church service over the internet. That also is a blessing. We still feel in touch to a degree when we can at least hear the worship and sermon when we can't be there.

Owen was a little apprehensive at first by the whole casket/dead body thing. It was just a quiet pouty face and an insistence on clinging too me, not a fearful crying or anything. He soon got over it though and voluntarily walked to the casket when I wasn't looking. I followed him when I noticed and picked him up so he could see. I know some of you are freaking out just at the thought of it and I'm not trying to do that. I want my kids to have a healthy understanding of death, and see first hand the obvious absence when the soul has departed. I want them to have no doubt that life isn't limited to our bodies ability to live, but rather that our bodies are limited by life's desire to stay. It's just a costume we wear in some ways. He seems very confident in his realization that Gloria was not there and that her body wasn't her.

We had a very cold graveside service and he watched quite a while after as the men lowered the coffin and began placing dirt back into the grave. I finally knelt down beside him, interested in his thoughts and asked him if he was glad he came. He nodded and I added..."even though it was kind of sad?"
He said, "yeah, and kind of awesome." He was mainly referring to the way they were dumping dirt into a hole, but I'm glad he thought it was kind of awesome.