I am sore. My heart gets a little pang of sadness that really feels painful when I hear of friends who are hurting to the point of giving up on their marriage. I say it like that because I think that's really what it is in this case...just a whole lot of unintentional hurt. There was no infidelity, no abuse (physical or verbal) or hidden addictions, just a bad case of neglect and carelessness.

What is faithfulness in marriage? Is it something we only equate with not cheating? To me it is so much more than that. Faithfulness is continuing to seek a steadfast communion with someone who maybe isn't at their best. Faithfulness is working hard to meet the needs of your spouse even when you're the one who feels left for dead. Faithfulness is putting aside your misery so that you can concentrate on why your spouse is miserable. Faithfulness is trusting God with the person you married so that you don't go insane looking at what you perceive about them. Faithfulness is taking the high road...even in the dark.

Marriage isn't easy, and no marriage is perfect. It's the union of two imperfect people, so there are bound to be hindrances and hurdles to overcome. Marriage isn't always fun. Sometimes, marriage feels like a canyon you can't climb out of. You can follow the river bed and take a long walk out, or you can call for a rope. There are too many people calling for ropes, and in my opinion, too many people willing to throw them down.

Marriage is worth it. It's worth every bit of the work it takes to keep it whole. Seeing each other through the deep places in the road is exhilarating. Knowing your spouse trusts you because of your faithfulness is fulfilling. Believing that God has you together for a reason that's bigger than your own happiness is exciting. Being married is more than having someone say "I'll watch out for you." It's trusting the one who says it enough to give them your weapon.

I do not discount the pain my friends are in. I do not discount the discouragement, depression and disillusionment that so many couples find themselves drowning in. I only wish I could give them a birds-eye view of where they're going...show them that the canyon does have an outlet and the view from the other side is breathtaking. I wish I could show them that quitting is only prolonging a lesson in patience and endurance. I prayed for my hurting friends today, that God would reveal His way out of the valley they find themselves in. That He would comfort them and strengthen them with endurance for the road they have yet to travel. That an obstinate conviction would settle upon them that would hold them fast to the vows they made to each other...then I thanked God for my wonderfully imperfect marriage and the steadfast faithfulness of the man God allows me to love.