I had to back out of our white water rafting trip this weekend because of my back.

Yesterday I took the boys to another free movie at Providence and just as I lifted Aron to his seat I felt a spasm in my lower back that nearly floored me. It's so weird when it happens because I can't move for a few seconds and it feels like someone is reaching inside my skin and grabbing my spine violently. I have no control for a moment and then it's a question of which way to get off my legs. Thankfully I was near the seat and could plop down quickly and not disturb anyone. The hardest part was getting out of the theater, taking Ivan to the bathroom and then getting all three of them to the van which was across two crosswalks from the theater. I felt a little vulnerable with three young boys walking through crowds and traffic and no way to retrieve them if they got a wild hair. They did not take off or anything, but they whined all the way to the van. The threat of rain had prompted me to bring the umbrella into the theater which made a nice cane on the way out.

It was a very painful and frustrating day yesterday but we made it, and today has been redeeming. The pain is still very present but not as intense. My expectations of myself are significantly lowered so the frustration level is lessened a lot.

I've made a chiropractic appointment for tomorrow morning and Amber (bless her little pea pickin' heart) is coming tonight to feed and care for my boys. I am still planning to attend leadership dinner but will leave early if the drive over causes things to get worse or if the uncomfortable seats are just too much to take. Amber is also picking up some bread from the grocery store for me so that I don't have to go to the store with the boys. She's a life-saver.

Did I mention Kris is out of town? Pretty crazy.

I'm so thankful...that I am able to handle pain pretty well and that I have understanding and gracious friends. Even those of you who can't be in my living room helping are kind enough to pray and I love that. What I'd really like is to conquer this issue once and for all. It's going to take some changing in my life though and that's what makes it difficult. I suppose that's where I need prayer...overcoming the habits that are dragging me down and developing the habits that will build me up. There are obstacles that I need to get past, excuses I need to overcome and discipline I need to delight in. That's a lot of stuff.