Easter: What a beautiful day! I made sweet potato biscuits with ham and we all ate it with smiles on our faces. I'm sure there was something more to that meal, but that's the only part I remember. Owen learned to ride his bike without training wheels. I started cleaning off the back porch and the patio furniture. Not exactly a traditional day but I enjoyed it.

Kris' Job: Kris is working down in Franklin right now and it's going well so far. He's been able to observe, analyze and come up with options for making things better. I don't like his commute, but everything else is going well. On a personal note...I miss him. I knew it would be an adjustment and I was ready for the part where he's not home as much, but there's always something that surprises you and this time it was the questions. You know how you get used to the anticipation of something and you're sort of anxious in a good way for what's going to happen? That feeling established a bit of a bond between us, both of us looking forward to something that was yet to be revealed. Now...we know. I don't want to sound like I'm complaining, but I sort of miss the "not knowing" together. I don't know if that makes sense to anyone but me, but I'm going to throw it out there anyway.

School: Owen is exploring so many different things in school. He brought home an "Owen size" anatomy chart that he had colored and labeled all his major organs on. He does great artwork, learns Spanish and is in a musical to be performed this week. Owen is doing well in school and I'm just wondering what we'll do with Ivan. I have prayed about it and looked at the cost and I just don't know yet. I'm confident that God will lead us. Ivan has shown so much interest in the last month or two and has an even more captivated curiosity toward the sounds and uses of the letters than Owen did, although Owen recognized more letters than Ivan does at this stage. I had pretty much told him that we aren't going to send him to pre-school, but I'm waffling on this big time. Cons - the price, the added round trip to school in the middle of the day. Pros - Ivan's joy in going, the satisfaction of giving him that transitional half day before Kindergarten and my love for their school. I walked through the offices recently and was overcome by the attention and love they show my kids. They know Owen's little brothers by name, teachers and administrators who are not directly over Owen ask me questions about them, tell me how much they enjoy Owen and comment on his growth and talents. They appreciate my input on books and lessons, they have values I share, and I am challenged by the standards they set for their students and faculty. I'm so in love with them all it breaks my heart to think of keeping Ivan from this atmosphere.

Sunday school: Ever since our little retreat here at the house, I have felt a greater bond and even "usefulness" among our ladies. I am finding my place in some ways. Realizing my potential to influence through friendships and hospitality as well as encourage and build up through writing and little reminders and phone calls. I see much more in them as well. Some of them are stifled ministers who just need to get past a hurdle or two in order to thrive in operation for the kingdom.

Personal: I am contentedly questioning where I am. As a mother, I am perfectly satisfied with my role and becoming more and more dissatisfied with the way I perform it. As a wife, I am aware of the amazing gift in my husband, but more and more aware of how lacking I am in meeting his needs. As a neighbor and citizen I am fully appreciative of the good fortune I have in my home, my neighborhood and my community, but internally hungry for the quiet, space and distance I have always desired in a homestead.

Physically: I'm tired. I was up with Aron almost all night because he could hardly breath. His eyes were itchy and red, his nose stuffy, his throat swollen and he coughed and coughed most of the night. He was able to rest well when he was upright so I sat in the bed with him and held him until he was breathing peacefully. He was finally sleeping on his own by around 5:00 a.m. and I was too. That didn't last of course. Through the day I felt horrible. Headache, nausea, dizziness, upset stomach and exhaustion combined for a very unproductive day. By 4:30 or so I was washing dishes and it suddenly struck me that I felt a bit better. Little by little I worked my way back to normal and feel pretty much myself now. It's always funny how going from ill to well in a matter of hours makes me so grateful for feeling healthy. It's as if a weight is lifted and I can enjoy life again. It feels so good, it's almost worth the illness...but not quite.