I knew he wanted to sit in the front seat and there were no cars immediately behind us, waiting on us at the car line drop off, so I suggested he get out now and move up to the passenger seat beside me. Instead of obeying, he lingered, looking at the cars behind us, distrusting, unsure if I knew what might come up and cause us to be in someone's way.
"There's a car," he said.
There was a car, but we couldn't move until Owen was finished anyway, and there was still room in front of and behind our car. I urged him again, to come up to the front before it was too late.
This hasn't been our best year. Really. Financially, emotionally, relationally, a whole pile of "not our finest" moments. Yet... I'm convinced that years like 2014 are essential. They are the interruptions that make us better, they are not defining years, but they spur us on to better things and I'm grateful for my less than stellar year.
With a dozen fresh cinnamon rolls in hand, we piled out of the car to deliver them to expecting friends. The lights on their house made it very clear how to get to their front door and the side walk stretched welcoming from the driveway where each of my boys were gearing up to run to the destination. Boys are not known for careful steps, and Ivan was first one out. I was still closing my car door when I heard him scream. Aron was first to his side and even our friends heard his cries and came out to comfort. A small step hidden by the shadow of well trimmed greenery in the front of the house had caught his foot and his knee took the brunt of all of Ivan. Scraped and bleeding he was slow to comfort and as I handed the rolls off and leaned down to kiss his tears, daddy came from the other side, scooped up the whole boy, and carried him inside.
If you want purpose, you must leave behind the idea that any other person can give it to you. True, fulfilling, purpose only comes from the Creator. He alone knows the fullness of possibility within you.
The world would start the statement above the same as I did, but would insist that "the Creator" should be replaced with "yourself."
How small would our world be if we depended solely on the knowledge we have of ourselves to inspire us? God, who made us, holds the key to greater depths of ability, energy, creativity and knowledge that He's already placed within us. No matter how enlightened we become, we cannot unlock this vast beauty without the Holy Spirit's active participation in the shaping of raw nature God began at our unfolding.
He is not simply an Author, the creative source of our story, He is also a Finisher. He smooths us to perfection and works over us and in us until we are gloriously refined.
No one, not even our dearest and deepest of friends can measure that depth within us, scale the steeps of our souls in darkness and bring out the gems that are within. No one. Christ alone has proven Himself able to withstand the oppressive chasm of death and hell, and knows what it means to break open the door between life and death. He offers us this power, with the promise of the Father, that no man shall be without hope of fullness. Making alive what was dead, the Holy Spirit within lightens the darkness and gives shape to our void in ways we never imagined.
I am so glad to be His. I am in constant expectation of what great thing He can become in the small vessel that is me.
I believe in prayer.
I believe it can give you influence where you don't have relationship.
I believe it can give you opportunities where you have not been established.
I believe it can give you favor where you have not invested.
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