"Ugh....where's the instruments? Why can't I hear anything but the alto on the worship team? Why is it so bad? It's nothing but drums and alto...seriously...drums and alto? I am trying so hard Lord, I'm trying to worship, it's not the song, it's not the style, it's the sound! No, I'm sure it's ME! I can see other people with their hands up and tears in their eyes...there's something wrong with me. Help! I can't get past this grating sound in my ears! I'm one of those awful people who can't worship because they're picky! What's happened to me? Should I go tap the sound man on the shoulder and ask him if he could please provide some form of melody just for me? Nah, probably wouldn't be a good idea. Please, do something God...I really want to worship."
Lots and lots of them. Floating around like balloons asking to be popped. Daring us to disagree with bloated analysis of life inexperienced.
We all have them, we all blow them up and admire them. We might even take them out to share with friends or post them on facebook and wait for the masses to ask for more. We've sacrificed our very breath to enclosed ideas that form a "truth" we can't prove, because it's not truth at all, it's opinion, and if it isn't popped from initial scrutiny, it will eventually lose air and shrivel.
Praying for my kids isn't a little thing I do in the evenings before bedtime.
Praying for my kids isn't a ritual around the table.
Praying for my kids isn't a part time practice, spurred by anything that looks like habit or tradition.
Praying for my kids is how I exhale as a parent. It is the full outward force of my breath.
I went green for my lawn.
I needed a small lawn mower so I could work on my lawn myself and not have to call someone every time it needs a basic run through. With the problems I'd had with my back and the very steep hill we have in our back yard, I wasn't able to cut the grass myself for quite a while. I'm happy to say that my back is doing much better and I'm now able to get out there and work on it.
Unfortunately, I had gotten rid of our mower already. I didn't like it anyway. It was too heavy and cumbersome and the pull starter was very difficult. I had worked with it many times and was basically unhappy with it.
This time I wanted to go light. I wanted to go as maintenance free as possible. So I got one of these...
It is a bit of a workout, but that's good. It has to be done often, because if the grass gets too tall it won't cut it, but that's good too. It's small enough for my two oldest boys to work with, and that's very good. My little Lego lovers need to get outside.
Most of all, it allows me to work outside again in short bursts of productive energy. I like doing it. I love thinking while doing monotonous work. I love the feeling of making a difference that's visible in my yard. I really like it.
We will see if I say the same thing in July. No promises.
I still need help with the steep hill in back, but we will save money this summer by only calling for help once a month instead of three and four times.
I know that title may sound a little like I'm tooting my own horn...because I'm a mom too...but I am really thinking of the moms I've observed over the years, mostly those who've walked the path ahead of me and seemed to navigate the snap back curves a little bit better than others.
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