Calico Dreams - Latest comments on On Marriage

Jessica [Visitor] in response to: On Marriage

Jessica [Visitor] — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 17:56:41 +0000

Very well said, Mary. I especially liked, "Faithfulness is putting aside your misery so that you can concentrate on why your spouse is miserable". It's so true. For me, marriage has made me become MUCH less selfish. I love being married and I will always work hard to keep it that way. Many people throw their hands up way too soon, in my opinion.

You really should write a book :)

Mary [Member] in response to: On Marriage

Mary [Member] — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 15:02:43 +0000

Amber - I nearly didn't publish this post for this very reason. I didn't want to raise old wounds or administer guilt where it wasn't meant to be given. I am glad you know that I didn't mean you. I completely see you as one who walked in faithfulness as far as you could possibly go. I know that you didn't ask for a rope until you came to a precipice that you just couldn't go down without killing yourself or Madison in the process and that God Himself was right there helping you out. You did not break your covenant, your husband did, and you had to pick up what was left and make a decision based on where you were.

The truth is...I know you agree with my words and that marriage is important and sacred to you. I know that you, if blessed with another opportunity, will faithfully love and faithfully respect the man God gives you. I know that YOU DIDN'T FAIL at marriage...and that's why I went ahead and posted this.

Amber [Visitor] in response to: On Marriage

Amber [Visitor] — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 14:52:50 +0000

This one hits close to home. Though I know you know the circumstances which surrounded my divorce and your post is not about me or my situation, that guilt of failing at marriage rushes back in when reading this. I struggled with that guilt for a while in the beginning, and contemplating staying strictly out of guilt. While I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that my divorce was necessary (for all involved), and it was the absolute right and only thing to do, there's still a guilt and shame that comes with breaking that covenent. All I can do is learn from that entire experience so I am wiser as to not find myself in that situation again. Too often people divorce, only to make the same marital mistake they made the first time. I don't want to be that person anymore than I care to be the divorcee that I am. So I have to accept the label I have, but I can wisely choose to avoid any additional labels.

Amy [Visitor] in response to: On Marriage

Amy [Visitor] — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 13:55:44 +0000

Very well said. When two dreamy eyed people say I do, they don't *really* know what's in store for them. I don't think it's really possible to understand until you're actually married. And I don't know anything else that shows how selfish we really are like marriage does. I pray that you can be an encouragement to your friends and that you can help them through this.

Tisra [Visitor] in response to: On Marriage

Tisra [Visitor] — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 12:48:59 +0000

Well said, Mary. Your love for them seeps through these words- maybe they should be given a copy?

Dad [Visitor] in response to: On Marriage

Dad [Visitor] — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 04:24:28 +0000

You sound like your mother

Christy [Visitor] in response to: On Marriage

Christy [Visitor] — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 02:18:10 +0000

Whew. Amen.
It's definitely work. And definitely worth it.
I've been in your spot several times too. It is so difficult to see one's friends go through this.

Cheryl [Visitor] in response to: On Marriage

Cheryl [Visitor] — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 01:38:31 +0000

Very well said, Mary. I can't speak from experience, but I appreciate your care and compassion while still offering Biblical input.