Surgery

It is Christmas day and I am happy and healthy at home with my two favorite people, Kris and Owen. They are both playing with Lego's on the floor at the moment and I am roosted in my comfy chair with the lap-top that Kris brought to me.

I am having a wonderful day despite the fact that it is not going at all like I had planned. This was to be our first Christmas all to ourselves at home in Nashville. I was planning to have all sorts of goodies baked and a punch-bowl of eggnog waiting to satisfy the slightest whim of our sweet-tooth’s.  I had planned a big breakfast to be waiting for Kris and Owen when they woke up and then a tasty lunch and snacking all day long.  Presents would be opened and we would join my sister and her family as well as my brother sometime that afternoon either here or at my sister's house.  The next day, Kris' parents were coming, along with his grandmother to join us for the days up to New Year.  This was not to be exactly how it happened.

It all started last Monday night.  I had been experiencing some symptoms of pregnancy but still wasn't convinced that I was indeed pregnant but at the urging of my sister Becky, I stopped in at Walgreen’s on my way home from a Christmas dinner with the Ladies Board and purchased a home pregnancy test.  The next day I took the test and was surprised to find that I was actually pregnant.  I did some figuring and guessed that I was just about 5 weeks along and prepared myself to give the news to Kris.  We had not been planning this so I wasn't sure how he would take it and to be honest...I was feeling sort of depressed myself.  I think this was due to hormones and different activity going on.  My body was reacting to pregnancy, but this wasn't a normal pregnancy and I think everything just reacted differently.

The next few days we talked a lot and were getting used to the idea of another baby coming but it never became real to us.  I knew that there was a baby there and that life was happening but the thought of actually having a baby never seemed like it was going to happen.  I think God was protecting us both emotionally in this. I don't really have any other explanation since I want another baby and we have talked about trying for one soon.

On Friday I noticed some spotting going on and I decided to call Kathy, my mid-wife and just let her know what was happening. She was not too concerned and said that if I wanted to get an ultra-sound it would probably tell us where the bleeding was coming from but if my body were trying to miscarry there really wasn't much I could do about it this early in the pregnancy.  She said some pregnancies are just like that though and can still be very healthy. On Saturday night I had performed in Scrooge and gone home to clean up.  I was suddenly struck with severe pain and later realized that I had more light bleeding.  I didn't sleep much that night because of the pain but after talking to Kathy and realizing that the pain had subsided quite a bit I decided to go ahead and go to church for another performance of Scrooge. I had pain off and on for the next couple of days.  The bleeding continued but it was very light and I was discouraged. I felt that if I were going to miscarry than I wanted it to just be over with, I was so tired of the pain and the "not knowing."  Tuesday afternoon I noticed that although there was still pain throughout my abdomen it seemed to be focused on my left side and even down my left leg.  This seemed very strange and I worried about it some but thought I would just wait and see if it went away. That night it just seemed to get worse so sometime after 9:00 I called Kathy again and explained the pain to her.  I asked her if it was normal to have pain on one side like that and she said "no...that's not normal." She said she was going to call the doctor who does her ultra-sounds for her and call us back.  She called back and said that he could see us that night.  We got dressed quickly and pulled Owen out of bed and put him in the car in his pajamas. We drove to her house and then followed her to the doctor in White House, TN. It took him just moments to get me on the table and have an image up on the screen.  Within seconds he said..."Well, it's definitely an ectopic pregnancy."

I wasn't really surprised. Kathy had said this was the reason we needed to get the ultra-sound, to rule out a tubal pregnancy.  If it were ectopic than we needed to get it taken care of.  They both looked at the ultra-sound and were able to quickly explain to us what they saw, what they thought about it and what to do about it. The baby was growing inside the tube and the tube was already beginning to rupture.  There was some internal bleeding and I would need surgery.  I looked at Kris and at Kathy and asked them if we could pray.  I told them that if God wanted to move the baby into the womb where it belongs then he could do it. I didn't want to leave there without giving God that opportunity to save the baby.  Everyone, including the doctor prayed and agreed for a miracle.  The doctor looked at the ultra-sound again and said.  It looks the same here but you need to go to the emergency room and they will want to do another ultra-sound.  They may tell you that you and the baby are fine and I'm willing to look like a fool if God does a miracle.

We decided to drive to Becky's house and drop Owen off with her. We were near her house and though we didn't have anything to leave with her except a few diapers and the clothes on his back I knew that he would be fine.  She has three kids already and he and his cousin are wearing the same size diapers.  It was so good to be able to leave him somewhere safe and comfortable and I never worried about him the entire time.

We drove back down to our side of town and straight to the emergency room at Summit Hospital in Hermitage. We chose this simply for convenience sake. We knew that the surgery was not a complicated one and wanted to be close to home rather than at one of the downtown hospitals. As we got closer the pain in my leg and side subsided quite a bit and I was beginning to feel pain in my shoulders on both sides. I had read that shoulder pain was one of the symptoms of an ectopic pregnancy but didn't know why. At the emergency room we waited while they took information and were able to explain to them that we had already had an ultra-sound but were not surprised that they would want another one.  Kris and I waited in a room where they took my blood pressure, temperature and other necessities. We heard a knock at the door and Pastor Dave Reusch walked in.  He is the Jr. High minister at our church and evidently the Pastor on call for the night.  I was surprised to see him and though it is so nice that our church always sends someone in situations like that it made me feel so guilty for getting him out of bed and away from his wife on such a cold night. He prayed with us and we told him we would let him know when they wanted to do the surgery. At this point we were still under the impression that this was an emergency and that they would probably still do the surgery that night.

Another knock on the door brought a woman to do an ultra-sound.  She was yawning as she came in and I asked her if I was keeping her up.  She quickly told me that we were and I realized that her hair was uncombed and she had literally come straight from her bed to do this. I felt guilty again but what can you do?  She propped me up on this wedge so that my hips were higher than my head and than began an internal ultra-sound.  This was very uncomfortable! The pain in my shoulders was more intense than ever and the position I was in just made it much worse. She spent about 20 minutes looking at the ultrasound and I was trying so hard not to complain but it was all I could do not to scream.  I finally told her that it really hurt and she said...didn't you get any pain medication? I told her that I hadn't and she said I was brave. I said..."no, I didn't know what you were going to do to me."  She didn't say anything and kept on looking around in there. I was beginning to get upset and Kris finally asked her how much longer.  She said she was almost done and soon packed up her things and left the room.  I was still lying there and Kris propped me up so that my shoulders where up which helped with the pain tremendously. At this point I couldn't pull myself up any longer.  The pain in my shoulders was so intense that I couldn't move my upper body much at all. All of a sudden I started feeling like I was going to pass out and I was very nauseous.  I told Kris to get someone quick and please pull the trash can close in case I needed to vomit. I was heaving and nearly did black out but stayed conscious. I think my body went into shock for some reason. I was sweating profusely and it was much like my reaction after being involved in a bad car accident.  They gave me some medication and I felt fine pretty quickly.  They wheeled me back into our little room and then told us that they were going to admit me and that they would do the surgery sometime the next day. I was sort of surprised at this but didn't want to question them.  We hadn't seen a doctor so I just assumed that whoever looked at the ultra-sound must have determined that it wasn't necessary that night.

I had been given medication to calm my stomach and help me sleep so there was no reason for Kris to wait over-night at the hospital. He left me sleeping comfortably and joined me again the next morning.  We were told that it was an out-patient surgery and that we would probably be home that afternoon.  The doctor came in that morning and explained the procedure and told us that he would probably do the surgery around noon. 

I was surprised again. Noon?  Wasn't that waiting quite a while?  Well, he's the doctor...he's done this many times, I'm sure it will be fine.  Two other pastors from church came and prayed with us that morning and Pastor Sandy stayed with Kris the entire time I was in surgery.  When I woke up Kris informed me that I would be there for another night. The surgery had gone well considering the mess they found when they got in there.  The doctor was surprised to find that the tube had completely ruptured and I had already lost 30 to 40 percent of my blood. He told us later that he had looked at the report and there was nothing that indicated the situation had progressed to that point. Another doctor had told me before surgery that if the tube had ruptured I would be in intense pain and would be bleeding profusely.  I had asked the doctor who did the surgery on his initial visit why there was pain in my shoulders and he said that it was an indication that there was internal bleeding but he still didn't seem too concerned.  He thought that if I were bleeding that badly, my stomach would have tightened, my heart rate would have changed and my color would have changed.  He didn't see any of these signs and since I wasn't complaining much about my shoulders he probably thought it was just a beginning of trouble.  He admitted later without really saying it that the surgery should have been done sooner.  Kris and I felt that the ball was dropped somewhere near the lady that did the ultra-sound.  She either didn't know what she was doing or didn't communicate well what she found. I’m sure a radiologist looked at the ultra-sound as well so I don’t know if he/she was the problem or what but I don't think that the doctor ever actually saw the ultra-sound, he just read a report.  Regardless, the surgery did what it needed to do and I have only three small scars to show for my experience. Amazing! The doctor even gave us pictures of the tube and some of the other things he saw down there.  I have a picture of my liver!

Because of all the blood lost I was told I must stay one more night. I didn't argue...I felt so good after the surgery and I knew that rest was needed.  Kris spent the night at home again but was by my side bright and early the next day, despite the snow and ice on the roads, to bring me home.  I ate my clear liquids and a few crackers well enough that I was given the green light on regular food and told to take it easy. Kris has been taking very good care of me and we finally got Owen back last night at the Christmas Eve service at the church where we met up with Bobby and Becky.

Owen slept for nearly 12 hours last night and is down for another nap this morning. He was glad to see us and completely oblivious to any danger mommy may have been in.  I can honestly say that I never felt like I was in danger.  God's peace was so prevalent the entire time. He was so near us and gave us such confidence. The baby did not survive of course and though I don't know what all God accomplished through the events that took place, I know that He was at work and I am so grateful I don't think I can express the half of the emotion I feel.  God allowed us to go through this when Kris would be home, we were not out of town (which we normally are at Christmas), Kris' parents are coming to spend time with us and Kris doesn't have to go back to work until I've gotten a lot stronger. I can't lift anything over 5-10 pounds so Owen doesn't understand why I'm not picking him up but he will have Grandma and Granddaddy here in less than 7 hours to take care of his every need. I just feel so blessed! My Christmas is not as I planned but I'm never going to be able to repay the gifts God has given my little family this year.  We are warm, safe, loved and together.  The prayers of our church and our family members and friends were very evident and the doctor remarked several times at how healthy I am.  I know that I will be strong again very soon. In the meantime I am just relishing the joy of the Lord...it truly is my strength.